Snow in Wisconsin is unavoidable, but for the most part, snow isn’t a bad thing. Apart from causing a few inelastic collisions on the road, it’s completely harmless. In fact, it benefits and brings joy to people of all ages. Small children learn how to attack people with solid water, and learn important battle tactics at a young age. Aspiring warriors gain career experience by learning how to build protective forts, and practice launching cannonballs made of snow. These youngsters have already started to build a great college resume.

Teenagers can conveniently sprain their legs by slipping on snow, and in doing so, gain a foolproof alibi for missing school. As for older folks, the perfect excuse for displaying childlike behavior is served to adults on a silver platter; snow shoveling. Adults must pretend to abhore the supposedly laborious task of snow shoveling, so no one finds out about the secret snowball fights and snow angels.

Not only is snow useful, but it also has a comforting presence. For many people, Christmas without snow is comparable to a teenager without a phone. When there’s no snow on Christmas, hordes of angry and upset children fill stores asking not for rain checks, but snow checks. Even Santa gets fussy when there’s no snow for his sleigh to drive over. Furthermore, it just doesn’t feel right to drink a steaming hot cocoa when there’s no snow outside.

As Ms. Veeder would say, snow is symbolic. It’s white, and white represents purity, and it falls from the skies (or the heavens). It’s nature’s way of cleansing the Earth, to prepare it for a new year.