Driving in snow is not so easy, as there are plenty of precautions to take. Before getting into the vehicle, clear the windshield, side windows, and headlights. This is a good way to brace yourself, as it will enable you to view all the inexperienced snow drivers coming after you. Feel free to turn on the seat warmer to keep that pizza in the front seat hot while driving to your destination.

The key to driving on death’s welcome mat, commonly known as ice, is to drive slowly at all times and never exceed the speed limit. One main reason for this is to be aware of the yetis at play; we do not want to lose our abominable snowmen. Another reason is because you do not want the car to turn into a bobsled once you reach that stop sign. No, you do not win a gold medal for being the winner of an extemporized vehicle-sled competition. On the other hand, drivers who drive way too slowly can definitely be a pain. In case the car in front of you is driving the speed of a tortoise, move to the side a little so that people can see the real culprit causing traffic.

Moreover, avoid making unnecessary trips to places, since fuel is more easily consumed during the winter season. The gasoline in your vehicle comes from crude oil that is pumped out of the ground. This crude oil is created from dead plants and marine animal fossils, which then undergo tremendous heat and pressure for thousands of years. The result is a dark and lustrous substance known as kerogen, which eventually breaks down into petroleum. Yes, you are cruising around town with no purpose, and your vehicle is working off of a limited amount of dead fish souls.

Finally, during heavy snowfall, some parking lot lines are covered with snow, and thus cannot be seen. Be extremely cautious as you drive into these parking lots, since ice may reside beneath the snow. As Central student Zheng Yan (‘11) said, “Driving in the snow. Where the lanes are arbitrary and the parking spots are imaginary.” Very true, indeed. Remember, driving is a lot like coloring; stay within the lines.