The ulimate guide to always getting to BC on time

Let’s be honest; you woke up at 7:30, and school starts in 25 minutes. It takes you over 30 minutes to get ready. Plus, you have to make that Starbucks run or else you will not stay awake through first hour. So, naturally, what do you do? You do everything as fast as you can, speed just a little while you are driving (but not when passing the police station), and arrive at school a couple minutes late. Your teacher gives you The Look, but you’re on a first-name basis with the secretary so your parents will never find out.

Whether you like beauty sleep, or you spent last night procrastinating on homework, here are the ultimate tips for getting to Brookfield Central on time.

Before school
Wake up like a pro. There are several steps in waking up like a pro.First, wake up before school starts.

That’s about it. If you need some extra help with step one, create a custom alarm clock that really wakes you up. This could be a clock that blasts your favorite music, your mother with a bucket of ice water, or any other variation.

Don’t shower in the morning. It wastes too much precious time. Instead, throw on a fresh shirt, spray some cologne or perfume, and you’re good to go. If you don’t have the money for perfume or cologne, just use Febreeze. Chances are, you already have it in your bathroom. If it can make your bathroom smell good, it can make you smell good too. Plus, who doesn’t want to smell like a Hawaiian Breeze or Toasted Almond?

Getting to school
Getting out of the house is elementary. Traveling to school takes more skill. You must race the clock.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. However, if you forgot to eat it because you were too busy Febreezing the life out of your dirty clothes, no worries! Just eat in the car. It’s okay if your car has bread crumbs and smells like banana. It will prevent others from hitching a ride with you to school, which is a couple extra minutes on your hands.

If cold bread and bananas are not your forte, you can order Starbucks online. Skip the line, save the time.

The clock now says 7:53AM. The pressure is on in the parking lot. No need to fret. Just cut everyone off to get to your parking spot. Oh wait, everyone already does that.

At school
Once you’re at school, it is a millisecond of a difference between life and a red truancy slip.

Thus, you must learn the art of running in the hallway; it is easy to learn, but hard to master. The added strain of having to run with a bag is dreadfully inconvenient and drastically lowers your speed. This can be remedied with practice. (Tinglin’s note: I have found that the best way is by running with a 45 pound weight down the long 1st floor hallway).

There are a couple of important moves you can use to get to places faster: one is the “barge.” This move is oftentimes a last resort, and is used when your path to the classroom is utterly clogged. A more commonplace move is the “juke,” a common move used in football, but adapted to the hallway environment.

There are a couple of obstacles when running to class. One is the notorious “nice guy/girl.” These monsters try to get out of the way, only to shift back to their previous spots because of the inherent need to obstruct well-to-do passerbyers. The simple solution: rudeness. Just keep running, and these malicious pests will not be too much of a problem.

This last tip is very useful for those that have a class on the first floor on the other side of school. Take the shortcut through the Secret Science Hallway. It is highly frowned upon, but highly effective.

And there you have it – many ways to get to BC on time. However, if all else fails, just join a club that meets in the morning. Although you will probably still be late for the club meeting, at least you will be on time for school.