Tyro riches disappear from jar

Margaret Hamm, Editor-In-Chief

Wednesday, March 16 at approximately 8:01 pm, Tyro Editors-in-Chief Krishna Gopal (’16) and Margaret Hamm (’16) uncovered a horrifying reality: the contents of the Tyro piggy bank, more affectionately known as the “Tyro jam jar,” had decreased by at least half of its original value.

Put into plain English, someone had stolen more than half of our hard-earned pocket change. Throughout the years, Tyro reporters and editors alike have deposited their loose pennies and dimes into the bank, amassing a hefty amount of change. While many Tyro staff members have considered using these funds, namely through purchases of pizza and other assorted junk foods, they have all stood strong and made the executive decision to keep saving, moving ever closer to the elusive goal of a completely full jam jar.

However, all of this hoping and saving came to an abrupt halt when the jar was discovered half-empty on the aforementioned date. While casually gazing at the jar, dreaming of the endless possibilities the funds could provide, Hamm noticed that something was amiss. After further investigation with the help of Gopal’s mathematical acumen, Hamm verified that indeed the bank did feel much lighter and that the contents of the bank now added up to only $7.37.

The theft came as an especially stinging loss to Editors Gopal and Hamm, who had taken out the jar merely four days before to dump its contents and officially count them. Although they did not recall the previous total of the jar, Hamm assured that “there were definitely a lot of quarters missing.”

Although Hamm and Gopal, as well as their comrades Natalie Hartwig (’16) and Téalin Robinson (’16) have collected all possible evidence and have interviewed many possible suspects, the infamous Tyro piggy bank thief of 2016 is still at large. The Editors-in-Chief ask that any students who may have information about the case or of the whereabouts of the money itself come forward (specifically to Room 2020) or send an e mail to [email protected]; informants will be offered a reward of 37 cents. On an unrelated note, all funds that are left in the piggy bank will go toward the purchase of a small security camera that will be placed in the back of Room 2020.